I meditate, it calms my mind.
It needs to be calmed a lot.
I've seen too much and way too young.
I used to think I would be dead by thirty.
The worst part of this is that I didn’t think anything was wrong with that thinking.
It seemed normal to me.
But, Fiona taught me to question that thinking.
She never judged me for it.
Actually, she said she had thought the same way.
She told me that one day she was in a coffee shop, sitting there angry, sad, lonely, and an old lady walked over to her and smiled at her.
Fiona locked eyes with her, this little, sweet, old lady, just smiling at her, wanting nothing, except maybe a smile in return.
Fiona started crying and the little old lady reached in her purse and gave her a Kleenex and then sat in a chair next to Fiona, never saying a word.
Fiona cried for a bit and that lady never left the chair.
Fiona finally stopped crying, took a deep breath and looked at the lady, who was simply looking at Fiona.
After a long moment, Fiona smiled at the lady, a half-smile really. The lady smiled back and said, “you don’t need any more of that way of thinking, my dear. You’re deserving of love, even if you’ve never been shown it. We all deserve it, just because we exist.”
Fiona looked at the lady and the lady nodded her head, repeating what she just said, without words.
Fiona nodded back a tentative agreement.
The little old lady smiled brightly, nodding her head as if to say you’re going to be fine now, then she stood and walked out of the coffee shop.
Fiona sat there for a minute, moved by what just happened, and she accepted that the little old lady was right.
This started her on her way to finding herself and finding Fiona started me on my way to finding myself.
I’m learning, you know, every day.
And, you know what Fiona’s story taught me?
That there are people out there who understand love and through their actions you can understand love too.
Fiona teaches me this.
I hope I can live it, so someone else might learn.
Oh, just so you know, I’m over thirty and I plan to live a long time.
Yukiko Shimada
Commented 20 Dec, 2023
It is wonderful to know that we were not created as lost souls cast out into a corner of the universe all alone.
We can learn what we want to learn from others, and by teaching, we can learn it at the same time. I have had such wonderful experiences. I have a husband who has taught me a lot. He shows me who he is, and in that way, he shows me who I am.
Thank you for sharing.
To share is to love.
To love is to share.
That's what my mentor said to me and my husband before he died.