Previous story : Sentimental Education - The day repressed emotions flared up. –
Page of Swords & The High Priestess, vol.5
Well, today I will tell you about the year following my visit to Madrid. In the summer of 2002, I took a two-week vacation to visit Lyle and Maggie in Billings, Montana. I found out after my visit that the wonderful grandmother Rosetta Rose had already passed away. Instead, a male black cat, Gordon, had joined the family. Gordon's mother was a stray cat. When she was killed in a car accident, her three children were taken in by Maggie's best friend and neighbor, Dorothy Sheridan. But Dorothy already had two cats, so she asked her friends if they would like to adopt a kitten. Maggie got a male black cat, which Lyle named Gordon. When Lyle saw him for the first time, he said.
Hi Gordon. Come on, Gordon!
Flash Gordon!
Lyle is not a "Flash Gordon" fan, but somehow the words "Flash Gordon" came to his mind at that moment, LOL. Lyle, Maggie, and Gordon made up the GREEN family for the summer of 2002.
Still, a two-week vacation was an incredible adventure for me. It was the first time in my life that I had experienced it. My and Angie Kendall's "Nu-Era Pics" had grown considerably, was doing well, and had excellent people working for it. So there was no need to worry one iota about us taking a vacation. In short, all I had to do was be available to be contacted, whether by e-mail or phone. I was just laughably bad at letting go of my job, LOL.
The GREEN family had a nice field to grow wheat and corn, but after Lyle's father passed away, Lyle rented it out to others, and since he himself worked at City Hall, they lived in a separate house in the center of the city, not in the countryside. Incidentally, my father, Sanezumi Shimada, was also a public servant working for Yokohama City Hall. As I told you before. My parents felt a kinship with Lyle Green because he was a public servant. So, my parents sent me off to Billings, Montana without a worry.
Billings is the largest city in Montana and their home is centrally located, but unlike the cities I used to visit on business, it is surrounded by mountains and nature. This means that I am tempted to go fly fishing, as I used to do with Barry Epstein.
I have not seen my own parents since I graduated from "Leland Stanford Junior University" and started my business in earnest, but even if I had, I probably would not have been able to act like their daughter. I would not feel comfortable in front of them. I would have bragged about my amazing success. Assuming that I would be reunited with Tatsuo Tsukida, my maternal grandfather and my mentor, I probably would not have that attitude....
But I didn't have to adopt that attitude to meet Lyle and Maggie. It was more like going back home, which is in my heart. My goal was to return to a state of "Peace of Mind". So I decided to go back to my teenage years when I was called "Yukkin". I headed to Montana wearing an Oxford button-down shirt of unknown make made in Japan and a pair of "Wrangler" jeans. I bought them at a thrift store when I was in high school. The oxford button-down shirt had frayed sleeves. I was wearing "JACK PURCELL" on my feet. To meet them, I did not have to wear high-end brands/Luxury brands. I didn't have to resort to "Miss Dior" fragrances. And it was a very good decision. They knew that my interviews had been published several times in "The Wall Street Journal" and other publications, so they were having a lot of trouble figuring out how to entertain me. Upon meeting me again, Maggie told me.
What a wonderful thing for you to come back here looking the same as you did back then!
Maggie had bought "Hutterite Chicken". They welcomed me for dinner on the first day of my stay with her roast chicken, which tasted very nostalgic. And just like that, I was off on a relaxing vacation. I stayed in bed forever. I had completely forgotten until that day that I had a place where I could be forgiven for such things.
On the third day I went to visit the grave of Professor Joel Lewis. His wife Ethel guided me to his grave. I cried. Yes, I cried. I cried. I cried because I have the ability to cry. Not tears of joy like when I saw Diego Velázquez's "Cristo crucificado (Christ Crucified)" at the "Museo del Prado," but tears of sadness, sadness. I cried so hard that Ethel hugged me. Then I was invited to the old Lewis family home where Ethel lived with Joel. I was treated to a piece of her apple pie, which was so nostalgic and delicious. The taste and smell of that nostalgic and delicious apple pie made me cry again.
Each time I cried, I could feel the Life returning to my Heart. It was obvious that there was a sense of heaviness stagnating in my Heart, but it melted away and I felt myself becoming lighter and lighter. I had no spiritual knowledge yet, but clearly there was a sense of Vibrational Energy that I was unloading heavy loads one by one. I would understand the significance of this a little later now.
Now five days have passed. It is Sunday. Barry Epstein heard I was in Montana that day and came to deliver the trout he had just caught.
He had become an auto mechanic, married and a father of two boys and a girl. When he met me, he told me:
I knew you were a very smart Supergirl, but I never thought you would be a big entrepreneur with interviews in "Forbes" and "Fortune".
Then he went on to say.
I'm a country boy, so I deserve this kind of small happiness. There are mountains and a river. I go home after work. I have a nice dinner with my wife and kids. But you deserve to fly farther. Maybe it's for the good of the world. So I'll always wish you the best. It should be for me, too.
Barry Epstein went home to his loving family.
I decided to cut and cook the trout he had delivered to me, and Lyle, Maggie, and I would eat it together. I thought I would make "Tempura." I did this many times during those fond teenage years.
I put the trout on the cutting board and looked at it for a while. A number of Doo-Wop classics that danced with Barry rang in my head, including "In The Still Of The Night" by The Five Satins, "Earth Angel" by The Penguins, "Heaven and Paradise" by The Meadowlarks, "I'll Be Home" by The Flamingos, and "Ten Commandments Of Love" by The Moonglows. Of the gems of 50's Rhythm and Blues selected by Stack O. Brooks, only Doo-Wop rang in my head. Strictly speaking, it's not Doo-Wop, but The Orioles' "It's Too Soon To Know" also rang out.
Sonny Til's voice from The Orioles gently touched the depths of my heart. Tears began to stream down my face. I felt loved. But I had forgotten how to love. Of course, I was not living a life that was hostile to all the others in the world. I have dear, dear friends like Angie Kendall. But I was obsessed with taking a higher position than others and looking down on them. After my grandfather and Professor Joel Lewis passed away, I turned my back on "Love" and selfishly immersed myself in "loneliness" even though I had no need to do so at all. Meanwhile, Barry Epstein had the scent of the earth and the river, a rich spirituality, and a loving family. I was wrong. I was completely wrong. I warbled and cried aloud. Lyle and Maggie came into the kitchen and hugged me. My heart overflowed with gratitude for Lyle, Maggie, and Barry. I knew that my heart was not dead yet.
It is not too late.
I could still start over now.
That night, probably around 1:30 AM, I suddenly woke up. I had the feeling that someone was outside the room I was sleeping in. I was a little scared, but I opened the door boldly. No one was there. No, it was not. Gordon was sitting there. Gordon looked at me, meowed, walked into the room, quickly climbed into bed, and laid down. He was ready to sleep next to me. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to put him in my bed, but I decided to sleep with him anyway. The next morning I told Maggie that Gordon had come over and slept next to me. Maggie said the following.
Gordon understands your grief. I think you should sleep with him until you leave here.
So I did. I petted Gordon. He gave a contented purr. He licked my fingers. His tongue was rough and a little sore, but I was relieved to have a gentle presence beside me. I was clearly healing from his presence. I played with him during the day. I called him.
Hi, Gordon. Come on, Gordon!
Flash Gordon!
And I petted him a lot.
The Shimada family has never owned an animal. My mother is probably an animal lover, but she has never had a pet because my grandfather was a bank employee who was often transferred and also lived in company housing where pets were not allowed. My father, although I have never asked him about it, might not be good with animals. It is not so much that he is not good at them, but I think he has the idea that he does not want to add to the hassle. I slept with an animal for the first time in my life, and I felt safe on a very deep level, something I had never experienced before when it comes to being at peace. I am deeply grateful to Gordon for his help. I still have pictures of the entire GREEN family on my wall, so of course, I have Gordon's picture on my wall as well.
Before I returned to the West Coast, I went to "Yellowstone National Park" by myself. I screamed with excitement as the geyser spewed boiling water, just as I had done on that Glorious-Teenage-Day, and I vowed to live a Life of "Love" and care for myself and others. Montana was where my journey back to "Love" really began.
When I got back to the West Coast, I sent Barry work boots from "Danner" and a bunch of "Railroad Socks". I attached a card. I wrote the following on the card.
It was good to see you again, who had become a wonderful husband and father. Please take care of yourself for your wonderful family.
Then I bought a 4-CD box set called "The Doo Wop Box" from "Rhino". I liked it so much that I went on to buy the second and third collections. And for a while, I spent my days listening to Doo-Wop and crying when I came home after work….
In the past, "Music" was necessary "Information" for me to develop my business. I had to know what songs were popular. Tomorrow, or the day after, I might talk about Beyoncé with a client. I might talk about Ed Sheeran. I might talk about Goo Goo Dolls. "Music" was just another form of "Information," like stock indexes and M&A bulletins.
I started to stop watching TV around this time. I am a successful entrepreneur in the IT industry, so naturally, I had been getting a lot of my news via the Internet. Despite this, I was furthermore watching TV news reports while eating dinner at home. I decided that I should concentrate on eating and enjoying what I was eating.
The Doo-Wop helped me return to "Love". The Doo-Wop helped me to enjoy "Music" again, and I went on to enjoy many other things as well. Sometimes I would listen to "Music" on the radio, and I would cry out loud in my room all by myself when "Wild Montana Skies" by John Denver and Emmylou Harris came on the radio. Humans have the ability to cry, and when we should cry, we should cry a great deal. I learned a great deal about this during this period of my life. I came to love to cry.
Continued story :Major Arcana 16 - Oh, yes. Yes, the “Tower” did come down. -
©Mitsuhiro Toda@Screenwriter Group Aquariusera
